Antwerp, a gay city: instructions for visitors

As mentioned on antwerppride.com, Antwerp is “Europe’s gay harbour”, so as a native I feel the natural urge to provide some essential instructions for visitors. Obviously, being a straight visitor can be a confusing endeavour in this gay town, so just follow my steps and don’t get into trouble. [Note: all shots taken outside the Antwerp Navigaytion 2009 grounds - 2008 images and video]

Upon disembarking from your cruise-liner, you will notice a huge sign stating “Antwerp, gay”. It’s considered courteous to have your picture taken right in front of this gay entrance sign. So even if you’re Muslim, straight & just married, only walking your dog or strolling with your 3 yo child: please, follow the rules – this is a respected gay town and we adhere to a zero tolerance policy. [My photo: the entrance to the gay city of Antwerp, Belgium, right above the cruise terminal). OK, all clear, you're in and safe, for the time being.

Next: obligatory rules of engagement. When strolling along the riverbanks, you will notice a huge number of semi-naked muscle males and individuals of undetermined sex. Approach with caution, but please, keep smiling! Being gay, some of the Antwerp natives will try to touch you or show you "what they've got": no panic, just go with the flow and stay safe! [My photo: staying safe when engaging the gay Antwerp natives. Notice how even the elderly dress 'wild'. ]

Common mistakes: gender confusion or assuming the gay locals are trying to ’seduce’ you. Warning: the Antwerp locals (both male & just having a break, on my shot below) only care for themselves (memorize this word: “narcissism”) and their attempts to show off have no emotional connotation whatsoever. In their world, you’re only a throw-away toy. So behave like one and stay safe, capito?

Entertainment & appropriate behaviour is another confusing issue for visitors to the gay city of Antwerp. Yes, it is perfectly OK to board a vessel with 200 semi-naked men/women dancing, but please, dress appropriately! Also, in case you don’t comply with physical minimal conformity standards your stay in Gay Antwerp might become a very short one. My pictures below: left: appropriate dress and show-off attitude. Right: totally unacceptable “let’s look at the zoo animals” gazing behaviour from straight visitors – warning: you may be deported

Anyway, I hope your visit to gay Antwerp will be an enjoyable one (provided you follow our zero tolerance policy towards non-tolerance, obviously). Just in case you wanted to enjoy a non-gay romantic river view, or visit our  “steen” (“stone”) castle museum that used to house the national Belgian maritime museum: sorry folks, it’s been turned into a drag queen venue. But hey, don’t let that spoil the fun: visit the gay port of Antwerp, the most liberal gay town on the face of the planet (I’m sorry, this write up was posted under duress   )

Belgium censors internet to protect pedophile privacy

Quote: “We now take note of the fact that the first observed case of Belgian Internet censorship is not an attempt to stop child pornography on the net, but a bizarre attempt to guarantee the legislative privacy of convicted pedophiles in Belgium.”

According to an article published today in Belgian Daily “Tijd” (‘Time’) [in English, by Google], the Belgian federal government has quietly introduced technical measures that redirect Belgian surfers to this updated STOP page when entering URLs that contain content the Belgian government considers to be illegal [fccu.be is the Belgian Federal Computer Crime Unit, a part of the federal Police]. Apparently major ISPs have voluntary agreed to accept this form of yet unclear censorship. The news came as a total shock and I’m still busy checking which sites have been affected. Update: “Big Belgian Firewall activated“ -translation by Google: Belgium is apparently blocking a Dutch site that does not respect “the privacy of convicted paedophiles”… I’m not kidding: Belgium does not actively block sites that cater to child molesters, but now does block one single site that lists those sex offenders. [Leading newspaper report]

Check out what is being blocked: http://www.stopkinderporno.eu (“stop child porn”): blocked (use a non-Belgian proxy from within Belgium). Welcome to Belgium: the charming country protecting the “privacy of child molesters by censoring the sites that list them”. Coming soon to a pc near you: mind-blowing tales covering the  pathetic Belgian state attempts to censor a billion “illegal” pages. Or how a tiny, virtually bancrupt country showed the planet how to censor the entire WWW in order to uphold its own obscure ideas on what should not be available on the net.  [Background:  "Towards full Belgian Internet censorship"]

The day I stopped running from the ghosts trying to silence me

Yes folks, I’m back. I know, I only just claimed I needed a sabbatical, but after some elaborate legal consultations (always handy to have a lawyer in the family) I realized I should stop running from the ghosts trying to silence me. I’m a Belgian citizen expressing my free speech rights (articles 19 and 25, Belgian constitution), without breaking any laws that might limit that universal EU privilege (art. 10).
[image: Belgian military staff on the job looking here  for...boobs]

Exposing the abuses carried out by government personnel by posting legally obtained images, showing gross misbehavior by members of the [censorship] is no press offense, nor does it entail any punishable crime such as libel. Posting pictures of said abuse while satirically commenting on those pictures is no criminal offense.

OK, now we got that cleared up, I’ve got an urgent message for the Belgian .gov and  [censorship] ‘readers’ who have been stalking me: I won’t post your disgraceful pictures. I won’t.  Being a small time blogger with only 500 visitors a day, well, it’s just not worth the effort. I have however acted like a real Belgian patriot: when my home country is under attack by the disgraceful behavior of those who have sworn to defend it, it’s time to call superman my friendly newspaper editor. Your shameful pictures are currently being processed by an expert legal team. It may be prudent and wise to check the national headlines any day soon.

So, I’m going back to blogging about what really matters: my cat.  And if that cat is found dead one day, I’ll get you, you sick b*stards.

Censorship in Belgium: pulling the plug on my blog posts

No, rest assured, I won’t be closing down this blog. However, during the past few days I’ve been repeatedly intimidated by local government personnel, just for posting verifiable facts in a couple of high-profile older blog posts dating back to a long forgotten era. I feel like the Dixie Chicks when they were told “shut up and sing”.

Unlike the US, Belgium doesn’t have such a far reaching constitutional 1st amendment, offering citizens elaborate freedom of expression, protected from government interference. We enjoy “real free speech, until someone finds a way to shut us up”. Remember the Belgian barmaid fired in New York after blogging unfavorably about the Belgian minister of defense?

Belgian defense minister De Crem (Catholic-Conservative) having a beer or two

So with profound regret I’m pulling the plug on several of the best investigative posts in Dutch I’ve ever written. Obviously, I will continue to post, be it much more sanitized, trying to make sure that I don’t end up producing generic pieces of thin air about my cat.  Have you ever been forced or felt compelled to take down (or simply “not write”) a post, due to pressure from an external source?

Turkey 2008: the Muslim cartoons

During these cold Belgian winter months browsing through my summer vacation photos and videos often makes me discover a rare gem, one that I’d overlooked while processing over 1,000 shots and numerous videos. You may recall that I spent September of 2008 in and around Bodrum, Turkey, the undisputed crown of the Turkish Riviera, harboring expensive yachts, an upscale local (sometimes topless) beach clientèle, along with a most amusing mix of Muslim traditions with Turkish everyday commercial reality, anno 2008.

[My video:] Don’t you love the way these enterprising Turks know what really counts ? I couldn’t help but smile at this Bodrum cartoon artist, totally ignoring the Muslim invitation to start praying emanating from the Mosque behind him. He kept on drawing his hilarious but provocative cartoons, admired by tourists. Business first, just like in my friendly local Turkish corner shop.

Antwerp Carrefour starts selling Muslim Halal meat

There I was, having yet again forgotten that vital ingredient for my evening pasta (the pasta itself). No problem, a short drive to my favorite Carrefour supermarket in the upscale nearby Hilton shopping center would solve that without too much time-wasting. Imagine my surprise when walking passed the meat department I ran into a huge right-in-your-face sign shouting “Halal“, with a significant amount of cooling space labeled “halal” as well. (Halal: used to designate food seen as permissible according to Islamic law] Say what?

Had I inadvertently taken a huge detour and ended up in the run-down Muslim part of Antwerp? Was Europe’s largest retailer Carrefour trying to target a demographic that 1. didn’t live anywhere near the Hilton shopping center 2. would never trust the French to provide them with “halal” meat anyway?  Given that there was no Kosher or any other “religiously labeled” food in sight I checked with a sales clerk, who replied, slightly embarrassed, “I haven’t got a clue, my chef had me put up that sign”. Obviously, cooling space had been taken over for this “food seen as permissible according to Islamic law”, so my prime New-Zealand lamb was no longer on sale, and neither were my tasty marinated pork chops. [Note that "Food" is a weird English label here. Antwerp Muslims rarely speak English]

The past couple of decades the tension between the Muslim (predominantly Moroccan) community and the Antwerp locals has become ever more problematic, with the recent Muslim riots (in protest of a conflict none of us can change) not really inducing any understanding. But hey, when a huge French retailer like Carrefour prefers to drop my favorite New Zealand lamb for “food seen as permissible according to Islamic law” they just lost yet another local, non-muslim Belgian customer. I’m a tolerant liberal, but if your religion means I can no longer buy my favorite food next door, my tolerance tends to fade rather fast.  How would you react?

Palin’s America: hate, racism, ignorance and fear

I know I promised to shut up about the US elections, but video reports like these shock the world on a daily basis. Is this really America?

Antwerp also has its fair share of racists, but (if you’re American) can you begin to fathom the impact of these (selected) images?

YouTube Quote: “Idiocy and paranoia are epidemic after 8 years of Bush, and the racism quotient is about what it was in 1958.”

Antwerp prostitute offers “banking crisis discount”

Belgians have long been known for their entrepreneurial spirit, but I’m convinced Antwerp ’star’ prostitute “Hot Marijke” has beaten them all with her latest endeavor. As of this week, Marijke (23, an Antwerp native and legal prostitute) is offering all her customers who own stocks in the “hard hit” (pardon the pun) Belgian banks Fortis, Dexia and KBC a “banking crisis discount” when they buy her sexual services.

“It’s time to restore trust” claimed a glowing Marijke, who is currently campaigning to convince her fellow, eh, “sisters” worldwide to follow her widely appreciated example. [images: courtesy hotmarijke]

Prostitutes near the Valhalla of free enterprise (Wall Street) reacted with dismay: “hey, we can’t even work legally” one was overheard saying. Anyway, if you’re visiting Antwerp, Belgium, check out this somewhat unusual temple of free enterprise at hotmarijke.be I’m not linking, given this is a non-commercial blog

Belgian Satan beer pulled from US retail shelves

“It’s hard doing business when faced with religious nutcases, especially considering we’re exporting to the US, a supposedly civilized country”, an upset but anonymous source from within Belgian Brewery De Block said yesterday upon receiving word that their flagship prime ale “Satan”, had been pulled from retail shelves in FL and several Southern US cities like Charleston and Houston by their wholesale distributors.

[Full US story: http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A53016 ]

Quotes:

“It’s probably been blessed more times than every other beer we carry, combined,” says De Jong of Cask Distributors.”  Despite that holy connection, the name and devilish look of the logo has cost De Jong a client in two Mt. Pleasant Piggly Wiggly stores. Almost immediately after it hit the shelves last spring, a customer complaint prompted the store manager at the Seaside Farms and Hwy. 17 N. locations to remove the beer from the shelves.

“We’re not in the business of offending anybody. If I make one sale on that six-pack and then it offends 10 other people, it definitely was not worth my investment,” says Bill Trull, general manager at the stores. “We’re in the Deep South. We have to be careful of what we put in front of families,” Trull says.”

“In Houston, a church group gathered in front of the display at a grocery store and refused to leave until the manager removed it, threatening a church-wide boycott of the store. And Satan’s importer, Texas-based Noble Union Trading, is currently unable to sell the brand anywhere in the state of Florida, after the state’s alcohol authority sent an undercover, underage person to purchase beer, and he chose Satan. While the investigation is underway (three months thus far), the importer has been banned from the state.

“There is a Bible-thumping crusader behind every tree,” says Charlotte Rowell, the owner of Noble Union. We feel very strongly about enforcement of underage consumption laws and responsible drinking. But what I do have a hard time tolerating is the intolerance of religion. Were this to be taken to a legal battle, we would certainly win the right to keep our beers in the market.”"

An anonymous (but quite angry) Belgian source suggested replacing the labels with “Christian virginity beer”, with an endorsement by (the now found guilty of power abuse) religious-nightmarish fruitcake and Republican US vice-presidential candidate WMD Sarah Palin.

The world economy is crashing to the floor, panic reigns, so what does redneck America? Boycott a “Satan” beer from Belgium. Amazing.

What’s happening in the US South? (and increasingly, in many US states) With the US presidential candidates  falling over each other, pointing fingers while exclaiming “religious fanatics are an ominous threat” (with that finger pointed straight towards the Middle East) the US bible belt has been radicalizing fast, with Bible-thumping crusaders making the US South a much scarier place than many countries I visited on any vacation. Do you feel these US religious extremists are endangering your constitutional (US)/ or legal (non-US) rights?

[Update: feel free to post your opinion by just clicking this simple, anonymous poll:]

Honeymoon in Turkey: the fun, the sun, the genocide

No, hold, this is no intentional political post on the “Armenian genocide“!  I recently returned from a fabulous  honeymoon-replacing vacation in Bodrum, Turkey and I’m in the process of posting a small part of my +1,000 vacation pictures. I just love Turkey, admiring the way the country succeeded in separating religion/state, making it a liberal, though predominantly Muslim country.  When I watched topless women at my Bodrum hotel pool, it was overtly clear that founding father Ataturk succeeded in separating religion and state.

Unfortunately, the Turkish government still felt that it was “appropriate” and “necessary” to post (yet again, in 2008..) a huge rebuttal regarding the killing of the Armenian population of the Ottoman Empire during and just after World War I, in the very distasteful form of a huge billboard right along the upscale Bodrum marina, in front of the entrance to the stunningly beautiful Bodrum castle. Hey, I was on vacation, thoroughly enjoying a walk around Bodrum Marina, home of the rich and famous, watching huge cruise-liners boarding, along with a stroll past the 5,000 head open-air Halicarnassus sea-side disco – and then I bumped into this..  You can imagine how this huge, Turkish government issued, quay-side “no genocide” right-in-your-face billboard-with-sculls totally baffled me.   How would you feel?