US State Department criticizes Belgium for human rights abuses

According to an article in the Belgian EUobserver, the US State Dept found it necessary to state in its 2008 US government report on worldwide human rights (issued Feb 25, 2009) that “the Belgian government “generally respected the human rights of its citizens,” (oh, really? I hadn’t noticed) but found several human rights ‘problems’, such as overcrowded prisons, lengthy pre-trial detention, poor detention conditions prior to expulsion and “ethnic discrimination in the job market.“

Local Belgian sources acknowledged Belgium experienced, like most EU countries, ongoing social issues, but ever so kindly suggested that the US State Dept would consider buying full-sized mirrors and a free trip down memory lane to take a long, careful look at the abysmal human rights track record of the USA.  “We don’t kill our prisoners”, “nor do we deny our gay citizens basic human rights” one Belgian source noted with rising indignation. Do you personally feel the US has regained its “moral authority” to start pointing fingers at the world regarding “human rights abuses” in other countries?

The tragic demise of a suburban, hysterical drama queen

In a country far, far away, lives a wondrous creature. Yet unidentified by local scientists, she preys on her own self-induced misery to turn the life of her own and of all those surrounding her into a perfectly manicured, yet horrifying 24/7 PMS hell. Let’s visit this rare species in God’s creation on an exploratory mission of mercy, shall we?

Each and every day one can see her waking up around 11 am , cursing at yet another day filled with vital issues such as clipping grocery store coupons, imaginary vacuuming and cleaning, driving her sleek European build $50,000 Volvo to her multiple therapists and charity gatherings (Narcissists Anonymous being her true favourite), while her two picture perfect, fair-haired children hungrily await her return with military embedded shock and awe.

More often than not, the blinds are drawn at her mansion in upscale suburbia, as she can’t stand the light or gentle warmth of a regular summer day. Much like her mind, her skin is fragile, bristled, broken, showing signs of concealed decay.

Being an upstanding citizen, she’s ever so proud of her numerous academic achievements, being granted the “ultimate sleeping your way to the top” award, (twice), with an honourable mention for “landing the best paid state official”, not the biological father of her children, but without the slightest doubt the social catch of the century.

When she laughs, there’s a “je ne sais quoa” (her spelling, she obviously speaks “Franch”) to her composure and voice that makes you shiver in disbelief: is this really a human laugh? Are those valued, inherited jewels and pearls real signs of success and wealth, or pathetic attempts at blinding the onlooker?

So she slumps along, taking her pills that keep us safe from her manic mood-swings, drinking yet another bottle of red wine. Being a very sophisticated consumer at Wall-Mart, she likes to choose her exclusive beverages based on two important criteria: pronounceable name and most colourful label.

Sundays mornings are spent in church, being a ‘woman of faith’ (in Prozac),  singing along to the hymns she never believed in in the first place.  Church visitors endure her long, pathetic stories of tragic loss, as somehow she appears to have lost every family member one can lose, several times over. But then again, who would blame them?

Her husband is a powerful man. Driven by ambition he threats her like a trophy, a trophy that has long faded but insists on being admired by a wide following of PMS-ing groupies. Being the bee-queen, she sequesters everyone’s attention, if not by good-will, then by force. Thee internet is her lifeline, used and abused to intimidate her flock of driveling hausfrau bloggers, who go through the daily ritual of leaving brain-dead comments at her pathetic blog she considers to be a true masterpiece, worthy of a Pulitzer price.  One she will fake to have been awarded. Venus rules the night.

She’s the quintessential suburban, hysterical drama queen, the owner of a brain filled with imaginary grandeur. One of a kind. And damned proud of it.

But one day she tripped, only to notice people just stepped on her, without remorse. Lacking any real substance, nobody noticed her.  Her children soon left the oppressive maternal playground, following their gay lovers to California, desperate to escape the years of inane drivel, art classes, straight A exams, mental abuse called “poetry” along with a mix of religious fanaticism and delusions of greatness their mother had labelled ‘an wholesome education’.

She was alone. Severed from her world of make belief she festered like a trampled, suburban, hysterical drama queen. One down. Millions more to go. [© Peter - antwerp.wordpress.com, 2009. All rights reserved.]

Dedicated to all emotionally fake “Alice in wonderland” housewives I had the pleasure of meeting these past years.

The fake Thanksgiving Google turkey

Sure, Google is known for its unorthodox search results at times, but I didn’t have a clue they actually used very advance image/pattern recognition technology on their image search.

Thanksgiving is not celebrated outside the US (Belgians would probably be clueless about this traditional North American holiday, one to express thanks for one’s material and spiritual possessions), but Google did believe this seasonal picture from my cell-phone actually represented “a turkey”. [Seach: http://www.google.co.uk/images?q=photo+of+xmas+cooked+turkeys ]

In reality, you’re looking (please click image to enlarge) at the central bar in the upscale, historic “stadsfeestzaal” Antwerp downtown shopping mall, an truly grand place covered with golden paint, featuring a suspended champagne bar overlooking a crowd of “not yet hit by recession” shoppers. In spite of freezing temperatures and more upcoming (wet) snow, a significant part of this town seemed virtually immune to the crashing economy, buying “stuff” like there was no tomorrow. Somehow this behavior reminds me of the Titanic, where the band kept on playing while the ship was going down. For those of you in the US/Canada: happy Thanksgiving November 27th! May your day be filled with gratitude for all your non-material possessions, the ones that really care in the end. Feel free to share your thoughts.

Belgium beats US national debt figures

If you happen to be American, I’ve got “good” news for you in these confusing times of a crashing economy and staggering debt. My home country, the tiny  kingdom of Belgium, Europe (pop 10 million, the size of Maryland) just managed to beat the USA on the tragic “national debt per inhabitant” hitlist.

With the US reaching a breath-taking EUR 26,047 of debt for each of its +300 million citizens, Belgium actually beat the USA by posting an even more stunning EURO 28,125 worth of debt for each inhabitant on the Belgian National Debt Clock. [Figure check: this week's Tijd financial newspaper, in Dutch]. I’m slightly confused, and maybe you are too. Should we somehow be proud, having beaten the USA?

Coming up during these weeks running up to the Christmas rush: “Crashing all the way, 24h in recession-hit Antwerp“: a merry (ho-ho-ho) post with Yuletide massive unemployment, a city hall surrounded by “for sale” signs on countless restaurant and business, with the shining lights of the upcoming grand Christmas market and open-air ice skating rink convincing everyone it’s business as usual.
“Faking it, in style“, we sure haven’t forgotten how to “act rich” in this great impoverished country of mine.  As always, feel free to share your related comments, but obviously, let’s keep up the holiday spirit: only uplifting, fun and amusing entries please! The sarcasm is 100% intentional – come on guys, let’s buy another Belgian built GM for Christmas!   [Image: me, checking my pension fund]

Early US elections winner: a true maverick

It’s almost midnight in Antwerp, Belgium (11:59 pm UTC+1), on one of those foggy Belgian autumn nights some of us wished we were somewhere else. My SO has fallen asleep in front of some ‘major’ soccer game on TV, I’m watching the video tsunami of US election news on my pc.  With yet another network repeating the classic visuals and sound bites (“massive numbers”, “waiting in line”, exit poles”) I suddenly stumbled upon one local station that had discovered “a true early winner”: a “maverick’ that scored all the way to the bank.

I’m not sure if Sarah Palin ever knew what she started when she coined the word “maverick” (well, she ‘kind of’ borrowed it, out of context, as we’ve come to expect): little did she know that for most Dutch speakers “maverick” is only (and really nothing more than) a US jeans brand, a brand that was totally elated to hear its name all over the place, all of the time, on all channels, for free. Obama may well be the next US president when I wake up Nov 5th, but in Holland and Belgium, one ‘maverick’ already ran off with the grand cash prize: months worth of priceless advertising.

[Disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with or endorse any "maverick". In fact, I prefer authenticity "]

Belgians upset with “From my ass I can see Belgium” Sarkozy – Palin prank call

Belgians were really upset when the fake French president Sarkozy claimed/2:30 “from my ass I can see Belgium” to US gov Sarah Palin
He may have wanted to say “from my house I can see Belgium”, but who cares when you’re talking to the “evil queen of Alaska”.

Sources claim the Belgian government strongly protested to the McCain campaign when informed that US gov Sarah Palin gave an affirmative reply to fake president Sarkozy when he stated that “from my ass I can see Belgium”. Even though the McCain campaign has not commented on this significant issue, anyone who agrees with the statement that “Belgium can be seen from someone’s ass” should be institutionalized or given immediate psychiatric care.

The fact that clueless Palin took the call apparently induced a severe diplomatic row between Canada, the USA, France and Belgium, with each country blaming the other for the degrading ‘Belgium can be seen from someone’s ass’ remarks.

Help, my TV just went digital!

Tomorrow, the screen of my bedroom TV will go blank. Not that I’m someone who goes to bed to watch TV, but it was kind of nice watching a Sunday morning talk show while having a croissant in bed. My livingroom set is all digital, being connected to a digital network like 99% of Belgian TV sets. Unfortunately, Belgium will stop all over-the-air analog TV Nov 3rd 2008, claiming that the remaining 60,000 antenna connected sets belong to  only ‘occasional’ viewers not worth the effort.

Unlike the US or EU countries like Holland and France, Belgium will digitize just two over the air TV channels: all the commercial stations long decided that only digital satellite, TV over fiber and digital cable were worth investing in.  Since Belgium has virtually no antenna viewers left nobody will really care, but unfortunately I happen to be one of those rare antenna viewers, as getting a TV cable in my bedroom would involve drilling holes in five solid concrete walls.  Watching this US video put a smile on my face: yes, ‘going digital’ can be a pain   Did the “500 digital channels” tsunami change your viewing habits?

US elections seen from abroad: Obama popular, but “irrelevant”

While the whole world strongly prefers Obama, much of the world couldn’t care less about the US elections, claiming they had no opinion or they felt the US elections would not affect their lives. And I agree. [Riz Khan TV show (ex-CNN), taped Oct 28, 2008]

Gallup world poll results:
“Gallup Polls conducted in 73 countries from May to October 2008 reveal widespread international support for Democratic Sen. Barack Obama over Republican Sen. John McCain in the U.S. presidential election. Among these nations, representing nearly three-quarters of the world’s population, 24% of citizens say they would personally rather see Obama elected president of the United States, compared with just 7% who say the same about McCain. At the same time, 69% of world citizens surveyed did not have an opinion.

World citizens are more divided over whether the outcome of the U.S. election makes a difference to their country, with 26% saying it does and 22% saying it does not. Moreover, 52% of those surveyed did not have an opinion.”

Palin’s America: hate, racism, ignorance and fear

I know I promised to shut up about the US elections, but video reports like these shock the world on a daily basis. Is this really America?

Antwerp also has its fair share of racists, but (if you’re American) can you begin to fathom the impact of these (selected) images?

YouTube Quote: “Idiocy and paranoia are epidemic after 8 years of Bush, and the racism quotient is about what it was in 1958.”

Wasilla, Alaska flashes a nipple

Look what some citizens of Wasilla are looking for at my blog: indeed, nipples. Given the very poor
performance by “that angry old dude” vs Obama last night, they could sure use some entertainment.
Coming up real soon: the meaning of life revealed, in ten confused words or less, Palin style.
[Vanity note: triple that counter number. Sitemeter was introduced recently at this blog]
Free traffic advice: blog about empty, tabloid no-brainers like nipples. Even Wasilla will find you