You may not know this if you’re non-local, but Belgium is still on ‘terror alert’ this week.
May I bore you? After reading some authentic ‘tales of Belgian explosion threats’, let me
show a real one. My hands are currently too cold to type any more long tales, so if you
feel like guessing what happened to this ordinary can of pineapple, don’t hesitate
This blog is not affiliated with or endorsed by the city of Antwerp, Belgium.
Oh no, the pineapple can didn’t blow chunks did it? Must have been hungover from New Year’s Eve.
Comment by V-Grrrl — January 3, 2008 @ 9:06 am
The full story is even worse Veronica
During my time-off days waiting for the electrical repairs, I spent my time wisely: going through “stuff I should have sorted years ago”. And Lo and behold! what did I find hidden in a filthy “previous life” container? Yes: an unopened, bloated Dole pineapple can!
Zooming in on the photo the shocking truth still amazes me: the expiry date on top is January 2000. Bear with me, it gets worse. Upon carelessly placing the tin can on my kitchen sink (admittedly, with some force) the nasty little, uh, ‘can’ exploded on me, squirting rotten juice all over me…
Obviously, I was warned by my government to be careful - there was a terror alert with a risk of “explosions”.
While I was fortunate enough to be spared the “terror” bits, I actually was the only Belgian victim of not one (my home wiring), but two explosions! Shocking ! And guess what? None of this horror made the evening news. This must be an intelligence cover up, don’t you think so?
Comment by Peter — January 3, 2008 @ 3:04 pm
Muahahahahhahahahhaaha! Oh LORD, Peter, you crack me up. Note to self: call the bomb squad for the removal of antique fruit cans found in the back of the kitchen cabinet.
Comment by Claudia — January 3, 2008 @ 3:16 pm
Watch out Claudia, you don’t know where the hidden dangers may be looming in these “yellow/orange/red” days of terror!
Comment by Peter — January 3, 2008 @ 3:23 pm
What I want to know if how Al-Qaeda managed to get into your home to plant this particular WMD… First airplanes, now pineapple chunks. These people will stop at nothing!
Comment by Kate — January 3, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
I know Kate! Obviously, I watch Fox USA on a streaming internet feed, so as soon as the US “threat level” goes from
“Yellow” (=prepare! squirting pineapple attack imminent!) to Orange (=Take cover! Flying Killer Oranges!)
I say my prayers (”can someone in the US please vote for a future president equipped with a functional brain”)
and obviously, as requested by the media, I stay at home, frightened and shaking.
Isn’t fear a wonderful emotion? (even in the kitchen!)
Comment by Peter — January 3, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
did you call in a bomb squad?
Comment by furiousball — January 3, 2008 @ 6:32 pm
I tried, but in these troubling times uttering the word “explosion” or anything vaguely related gets immediate attention:
IP 169.252.4.#, domain: state.gov, U.S. Department of State, Reston VA, Jan 3 2008 4:05:23 pm UTC+1
Hey guys, I’m BELGIAN, like in that “tiny European kingdom by the sea” - go read something about Antwerp prostitutes
Comment by Peter — January 3, 2008 @ 7:16 pm
5 days w/o Peter.
Did someone kidnap you? Do I need to don my superhero costume and come rescue you from the evil clutches of some sinister government op?
Comment by Claudia — January 8, 2008 @ 9:13 pm
I’m still alive Claudia
Cleaning up the mess after the AC incident is taking much longer than I had expected. I had to buy some new appliances, but they got stuck on my in-house revolving staircase. Unfortunately my cooler did not come in a handy “build-it-yourself” package from Ikea 
They’re now scheduled to go through the windows, courtesy of some major lifting equipment.
Isn’t it cute, living in a (fake) medieval penthouse by the river?
Comment by Peter — January 8, 2008 @ 11:01 pm