10 reasons to love or hate 2008

You know, I actually tried to find ten reasons to love or hate 2008, but being unable to predict the future, I failed to see any need to do so (well, ignoring the fact that I was getting your attention by posting a catchy title)

I wish you all a fantastic New Year 2008! May all your wishes come true: luck, happiness, health, and – if you don’t already have this particular item – a loving, emphatic and dependable male or female partner. But than again, a caring friend, your children or a close but sometimes unconventional bond may bring you just as much joy.

If anyone still feels the need to list their reasons to love or hate the upcoming new year, be my guest and feel free to stuff my comment section with your wishes, likes and dislikes now we all pass into yet anther New Year

[My photo: champagne for 2008 on the Antwerp riverbanks]

Antwerp prepares for 2008

While Antwerp, Belgium is busy preparing for the arrival of 2008 [Fireworks over the river in front of medieval
Antwerp downtown], enjoy some images of the Dec 28 city “after Christmas” parade [sponsored by www.vtm.be].
With most of the characters parading along the historic riverbanks resembling images from a Disney show, let me
assure you: the castle in the background is no Disney prop: it dates from the year 1225, and yes, it’s very real
I wonder where that Coca-Cola truck came from: aren’t those supposed to be TV commercial-only objects?

Skating with the stars, the Antwerp edition

Hey, who needs Disney? A 20 sec delay covers the Antwerp city Christmas ice-skating rink with digital snow
I’m sure many of you loved ‘Skating/dancing with the stars”, but isn’t skating yourself much more fun?
[Photos shot tonight with my camera phone in front of City Hall, Antwerp, Belgium, 5°C/40°F. Snow until Jan 2nd]

I ate Santa’s reindeer

And I loved every bite It’s 9 pm on Christmas eve in Antwerp, Belgium (that’s in Europe folks) and I just finished Christmas eve dinner. While ABC America (TV feed available in Belgium on www.zattoo.com) is busy running “Good Morning America” with Denzel Washington and Oprah Winfrey, faking every emotion in the next book she-will-publish-soon, we decided to have an authentic home cooked Christmas eve dinner.

No gifts or presents were exchanged (we decided to donate to Doctors without borders) but we did decimate half of the local zoo. Yes folks, we roasted parts of an American reindeer, had a bite of a South African “steak of an ostrich” and laughed while we sampled an Australian “Kangaroo fillet”. Hey, it’s Christmas eve, we couldn’t feel seasonal by leaving all this dead meat at the local delicatessen store. I must admit my s/o did a great job in ignoring the fact that he preferred watching these cute animals running around alive, although the fact they were already dead made buying them that much easier. Add some Italian Asti Spumante (a fizzy Champagne like drink, for those who only drink Coke), and hey presto: the perfect seasonal dinner. We both hope your dinner was just as seasonal!

Have a gay Christmas!

While I’m off to stuff myself with way too much food, I wish you all a very merry Christmas.
‘Gay’ used to mean ‘characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement’, and that’s
what we all need during these dark December days. Have fun! [Or at least, fake it ]

Disgusting: Christmas bones for sale

This town never ceases to amaze me: at the local Christmas market in front of the elegant Antwerp Hilton one stall is actually selling these huge, freshly cooked, but oh so smelly bones. Are there really dog owners around who are into ‘Let’s buy Rocky one of these offensively malodorous parts of a lamb, he just loves Christmas too”? Anyway, their neighboring (”Fine quality French specialty food”) vendors were not amused. Even more disconcerting: although this peaceful midday shot would make you believe otherwise, the Antwerp open air Christmas ice-skating ring has turned into an area with rampant alcohol abuse. Yesterday a 14 yo girl was rushed to hospital after overdosing on “seasonal” alcohol. The area is completely packed around midnight, with not only traditional Glühwein, but virtually any cocktail imaginable on sale, as long as you’re 16 (or at least appear to be). In spite of the presence of a permanent police patrol, fights have erupted and people have ended up in the local ER. Very ’seasonal’.

Any animal remains on sale in your area, or maybe a busload of aggressive, drunken 16y olds, yelling “Ho, ho, ho!”?

“Toxic killer snow hits Antwerp”

First ‘fake snow’ ever in Antwerp, Belgium at -4°C/25°F. Shot taken with a cellphone while driving a car. Mine
Not a pretty, enchanted picture, but a sticky mess resulting from frozen fog fallout. Really: no snow on any radar…
Right: aerial view of Antwerp city at the tourist office gift shop: 30 miles of harbor, up to the Dutch border.
Antwerp harbor is a Sevezo zone, but this snow was only smog-related, not the “killer snow” we all dread.
Today’s precipitation in Antwerp was pure filth. I wonder if your area is still enjoying real “pure virgin snow”

Never blog about…

There are certain, be it a very limited number of subjects a blogger should definitely stay clear of. Posting a very boring story about your cat, without adding any pictures is the classic example of a post that will never break any records. But what the blogosphere really doesn’t like during this Yuletide season apparently are posts about, well, ‘cruise liners”. Look what happened to my visitor stats after posting six shots of last weekend’s cruise ship visit here in Antwerp :

I crashed faster than a piece of concrete What are the type of posts that sent your visitor ratings plummeting?

The Black Watch visits Antwerp: “There’s a cruise ship in front of my window”

And there actually was, last Sunday in Antwerp. Fred Olsen’s “Black Watch” cruise ship moored as the season’s last large cruise liner alongside the historic Antwerp riverbanks, just in front of my door. The view was stunning, with the 843 passenger vessel only drawing a limited number of visitors who were not busy shopping for Christmas. I once cruised the Nile in Egypt for one week on a 1,000 EUR budget, but I would never, ever consider spending 15,000 EURO/$ 20,000 on one single (cruise) vacation, even if I could. Some locals feel that showing off this much wealth is almost insulting. Insulting or not, cruise liners remind of an area when the Belgian Red Star line transported almost three million people from Antwerp to America and Canada

The Christmas crash of 2007

After a delightful morning in the company of Di and Veronica, overlooking the Antwerp city hall open-air ice skating rink, I returned home. I’m sure we all know these days before Christmas: shops, businesses and towns are getting packed with holiday shoppers and way too many cars, making it easier to schedule my day walking from appointment to appointment, although the freezing cold makes walking around in a town of 500,000 a tiring experience. But finally I succeeded in ‘just sitting down’, enjoying the sight of the sun setting over the river. Imagine the sound of an unexpected, very loud crash, emanating from my bedroom, breaking the serene silence I was enjoying.

I did not move for five minutes. Sure, I knew what had happened, but I was not about to face up to this most unpleasant reality. Part of my wall-to-wall 4m (14 ft) wardrobe closet had collapsed. No shoddy construction, just a case of extreme overloading during the past few years. While overlooking the local disaster area it dawned on me that facing up to my shopping habits had finally become my only option: who needs 15 coats? 50 T-shirts? 50 pairs of socks? 10 brand-new pairs of jeans that would require a major liposuction? Countless unopened boxes with “stuff that I really needed but never looked at”? Is stuffing closets with unused “out of sight is out of mind” items the first sign of a borderline shopaholic or am I in desperate need of an early spring clean-up? I wonder, do you also own more than you can possibly wear? [My shot: a couple near Antwerp's Christmas ice skating ring tonight]

Run “ads by Google”? Get taxed for more than you earned

Bruno Lowagie, a Belgian non-profit blogger writing free open-source software, got this year’s most unusual Christmas gift: a letter from the Belgian tax authority informing him that putting “ads by Google” on his local blog turned him into an overnight “independent entrepreneur”, having to pay taxes as an independent businessman. His blog is in English, with the tax issues posted in Dutch. The Belgian blogging community is stunned: although this local blogger only made a couple of bucks (about $ 100) by using those convenient “ads by google”, the Belgian tax authorities feel that not only does he have to pay taxes (on the few $ he made through ‘ads by Google’), he’s also forced - and this is a major nightmare - to apply for a legal “independent” social status, involving paying much of his own social security and registering as “an enterprise”. As he holds a regular job and his personal blog is only a hobby, the financial consequences of being seen as “an independent entrepreneur” are a social disaster. A major Belgian newspaper ran the absurd story in Dutch. (Added: version in French). Absurd or not, the local Belgian banner ad agency Adhese (in English) has already contacted all of its affiliated bloggers, no matter how small their blogs may be. What’s your take on this unprecedented move to attack small-time bloggers?

The ultimate gay Christmas miracle

Christmas experiences come in all seize and shapes. Sometimes they’re grand and impressive, sometimes they’re small but moving. If you’re a regular reader or just a passer-by, you may have noticed that the health issues of my significant other have been haunting me on a daily basis. Having survived invasive brain surgery, he was left on sedative medication in order to prevent further complications. It broke my heart watching him just sit there, often smiling but no longer the vibrant, exciting men I fell in love with.

But a voice deep down inside kept on telling me to lower his daily medication, a move I was assured would cause “a major disaster”, at least according to the medical team who saw him on a regular basis.

Last week I took the plunge: I managed to taper off his medication, without any of the predicted side effects. Tonight he unexpectedly went for a walk in brightly lit Antwerp. When I opened the door on his return, he was holding one beautiful, bright red rose. He smiled and kissed me. I cannot begin to describe the overwhelming feeling of joy I experienced: it was no movie or corny Christmas miracle, it was as real as it gets. I’m not sure who to say thanks to, but I will never forget these days leading up to Christmas. [My photo: tree near my Antwerp home, Dec 12, 2007 - just click image to enlarge. With 900 pageviews during the past 24h, this must be my lucky day ]

A gun for Christmas: “What Would Jesus Shoot?”

“Live by the sword, die by the sword” - [Bible] Matthew, verse 26:52.

Pam in Paris mentioned that an American Neocon right wing military blogger (apparently her uncle and his wife) put a gun under his Christmas tree, with visitors commenting on the choice of the weapon. Along with a taste for strange ornaments, Pam mentioned the Watermelon blog from Australia, quoting a recent Harris online poll: “82 per cent of adult Americans believe in God and 79 per cent believe in miracles. More than 70 per cent of the 2,455 adults surveyed between November 7 and 13 said they believed in heaven and angels, while more than 60 per cent said they believed in hell and the devil. Roughly equal numbers believe evolution (42 per cent) and creationism (39 per cent). Seventy per cent of Americans said they were religious, while about one-third also said they believe in UFOs, witches and astrology.” An astonishing level of ignorance and superstition. [Image: courtesy of 'Cap'n Bob']

Along with the complete commercialization of Christmas in the US, I’m lost for words. Has America lost its moral bearings?

“Europe is not a country, it’s a turkey”

In some countries, being painfully dumb won’t stop you from becoming a well paid celebrity. Video: Kellie Dawn Pickler, who finished sixth on the fifth season of the Fox (USA) television series American Idol. [All figures and quotes from wikipedia] Pickler’s debut album, Small Town Girl, was certified gold on January of 2007. She was compared to Jessica Simpson in a March 27 story in US Weekly magazine entitled “Kellie: The Next Jessica Simpson.” Pickler also received numerous awards from local and US statewide government officials praising her accomplishments as a contestant on the American Idol television show. Pickler actively supports St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where she helps raise funds and gives kids special visits.

Pickler appeared on Jeff Foxworthy’s show, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?. She was asked, “Budapest is the capital of what European country?” She replied, “This might be a stupid question, but I thought Europe was a country”. She thought it might be France, and then was confused if France really was a country or not. When told the answer was Hungary, she did not believe the host. She said, “Hungry [sic]? That’s a country? I’ve heard of Turkey, but Hungry? I’ve never heard of it.”[end quotes]

The YouTube video above [+2 million pageviews] convincingly showed that being a successful ‘American Idol’ does not prevent one from being geographically challenged. The same has been happening in Belgium: take a very cute, but clueless no-brainer bimbo, dump her in a studio, overdub her voice with an entire gospel choir and hey presto: a new star is born. Are we too harsh on these ‘new stars’?

Stalking Antwerp Santa, covered in digital snow

Imagine this peaceful yuletide scene: while preparing for the grand Antwerp Christmas open air market and skating rink opening, accompanied by half the Antwerp city council, Santa, a busload of elves and an ATV (www.atv.be) camera crew, it dawned on me that I had forgotten to pick up the SLR camera a friend entrusted me with tonight. I had truly hesitated to accept loaning his expensive Canon EOS-1DS Mark III SLR for the evening, as I don’t feel comfortable running around with a camera that retails at the price of a small car… Anyway, minutes before the opening parade I still had no real camera, left to my own devices with a 2 mega pixel cellphone cam that produces more digital snow than a winter blizzard, along with an old Nikon in a box that proudly mentioned “up to 200 ISO!” 200 ISO, at night, on a dated, awkward digital point-and-shoot without any manual controls: it sounded like a suicide mission.

Humming the “When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going” Lyrics, I went in for the kill: ignoring the condescending looks from the assembled press, I followed Santa like a pedigree bloodhound, aiming my, well, “camera” at the Antwerp city dignitaries, the elves, the tv crew and the ever growing crowd. When my battery died after shot #250, I couldn’t face their humiliating looks anymore: I decided to forgo the opening of the ice skating ring and quietly decided to call it quits. Must get another camera soon, not yet sure which one though - the choice is overwhelming but I dislike having to drag a “bag” with me whenever I’m just in town.

Enjoy my first batch of photos - I honestly gave it ‘my best shot’ [Coming up: the Antwerp Christmas ice skating shots]

The ultimate gay Christmas shopping guide

Let me be blunt: the past few weeks did not make me recall the sweet smell of Christmas I knew when I was young. The sound of my mother’s cheerful voice, the excitement of not really knowing what Santa had in store, the huge tree, the home cooked turkey - no, none of these memories resurfaced.

Sure, the streets of Antwerp are packed with holiday shoppers, leaving the local mega-stores with anything from a ladyshave to a gigantic plasma TV screen. The next few weeks will see the traditional Yuletide frenzy turn into a shopping stampede, when people get that desperate look on their face: ‘I need that perfect gift, now!”. Street choirs will pop up everywhere, the square in front of Antwerp City hall has already been turned into an open air ice skating ring, and yes, the traditional Christmas market in front of the Antwerp Hilton will pull the largest crowd of the season. Unshaken, I will be there, taking seasonal snapshots, but for the time being, I couldn’t care less. [My photo: upscale shopping in Antwerp's 'stad feestzaal", Dec 1, 2007. Click to enlarge.]

The reason for my pre-seasonal dysphoria? I made my own “ultimate gay Christmas shopping list”, realizing that none of the items where on sale.

OK, brace yourself: here’s my unseasonal Christmas shopping list.

1. A “pain-free car”. No Cadillac, no SUV, just a car that allows me to drive using my right arm without experiencing discomfort or physical limitations. Even if I find one, I will have to face basic movements like opening my garage door: the power switch is located at a height that I can hardly reach anymore. Adding the services of a private chauffeur might do the trick.

2. The rebirth of my “significant other”. Sure, I’ve been in a steady relationship for many years. But time and medical issues have slowly eroded the “significant” part, leaving me with the “other” bits. Must kick my s/o. He has the same reproductive organs, but he appears to believe that “low maintenance” means “the elves came in, cooked dinner, cleaned up his mess and scrubbed the entire house”.

3. A “non-self-induced orgasm”. I must shout at my s/o at the top of my voice: “Start behaving like a real man” right now. He may well be going through the male menopause, but that doesn’t mean someone else has to suffer too. I may remind him that the Antwerp legalized prostitution zone in just one step away, with more than one cute bimbo willing to accept my credit cards.

4. An ‘authentic family Christmas’. Although my parents, brothers and their children all live within 30 miles, we hardly keep in touch.

I didn’t get anything from Sinterklaas (Dutch Santa, comes knocking on Dec 6th) today. However, I did manage to sit on his lap at the Antwerp Hilton shopping center. He just gave me the “this is not happening” look and called security.

Aren’t my wishes humble, unselfish, caring, universal and truly seasonal? Or am I just whining? Do share your own wish list!

“As seen on TV”: Antwerp Calling featured on expatica

It’s always a pleasant feeling when a blogpost turns into ‘todays feature’ on a major online publication,
especially when one is asked by the editor Check out my featured post over at www.expatica.com
I actually climbed that station roof using only one arm, as a slipped disc incapacitated my right arm.
‘Wake me up when you make it into print’ said my s/o. He’s such a spoilsport. Are you too?