When cars get too smart

Sometime reality beats fiction. On my way to the Antwerp leftbank city beach tonight (28°C/85°F) I had to avoid these 30 ton trucks, making a narrow escape as the Antwerp Kennedy river tunnel is a notorious death-trap. Anyway, I arrived safely and tried to check the onboard computer. When I clicked “disengage anti-carjacking door lock” I got a complete system reset and 10 seconds of utter disbelief, before one of the displays came up with this message: “I don’t want to”. Great, just what I needed

A friend of mine claimed up to 30% of roadside assistance interventions are caused by freaky car electronics behavior. Do you still feel safe, in cars stuffed with more electronics than an average PC?

Belgium’s weirdest beach

I posted these shots to show how deceiving an image can be. Left: a small part of Antwerp beach, a great green and inviting place during a week Antwerp is enjoying unseasonably warm 28°C (82°F) temperatures. An Olympic open-air pool, a fashionable marina, along with countless open air terraces offering a great river view: sounds like the perfect location to escape the busy city. We all love this place.

Turning my camera 180° shows a stunning view hardly any site likes to mention: there’s no escaping five oil refineries across the river, as Antwerp is home to a massive concentration of petrochemical industries, second only to the huge petrochemical cluster in Houston, Texas. Add four nuclear power plants and you simply must love Antwerp city beach. Oh, care for a river swim? Please don’t, it may kill you

Real Fame: The CIA loves to read my blog

As my father used to say: it’s not about what you know, but who you know to get anywhere in life. Anyway, I’ve always enjoyed getting visitors from the planet’s most exotic locations or just watch corporate employees from Fortune 500 companies spending more than the classic three drive-by seconds at my humble blog, in search of a post I’d never imagined being able to hold anyone’s attention.

A US government employee once really surprised me by actually posting a comment from his DC office PC, as we all know that the blogosphere at large is no longer a place of innocent diary keeping. Blogs get searched, indexed, cached, scanned for pictures, videos and keywords, often by systems like Echelon, along with the numerous other programs aimed at achieving ‘total information awareness’. And trust me, the supercomputer scanning your “dear diary” blog will not leave any recognizable traces in your logs.

So imagine my total surprise when I recently started getting a regular reader (yes, he/she didn’t even bother to update his outdated Firefox browser) from the CIA headquarters in Langley, Fairfax County, Virginia, a few miles west of Washington, D.C, USA. No bot, a real human being, kindly browsing my baby pictures and taking his/her time to read several of my posts. As this visitor is passing by during US office hours, he/she must be truly interested in this low-traffic blog from that tiny European kingdom by the sea. Thank you for visiting, ‘CIA’, I’m obviously proud being able to assist in “providing national security intelligence to senior US policymakers”.
If you’re a blogger, who’s your most famous visitor?

Me, aged two: The flashback edition

If you just happen to pass by in a hurry: this is a painting showing myself, based on a picture taken when I was 2 yo [please click to enlarge]

The details are less pleasing that this first glance ‘you looked so cute’ impression: I discovered this almost forgotten artwork last weekend on a pile of building rubble in the house that used to be inhabited by my grandparents. Most of us had multiple pictures taken when we were 1-2yo, pictures that have a tendency to end up all over the place: be it in neatly labeled albums, framed as a treasured memory by our relatives or even virtually forgotten in the proverbial shoebox. But no matter who we are, most of us have a visual memory dating back to the time when the world was new and full of promises.

Watching this particular artwork being treated like a disposable hamburger wrapper emotionally messed up my warm, sunny Antwerp weekend, as the events leading up to recovering this painting put me on an unexpected trip down memory lane.

My late grandmother adored me. Being the “mater familias”, she was a well educated woman with outspoken values and a heart of gold. I can no longer recollect the moment this portrait was painted, but I do remember the long warm summers we spent together, listening to her stories about how she traveled to the south of France, in an era most woman stayed at home and cooked their husband’s diner. She was frank and unreserved when she spotted social injustice, actually saving several people from being deported to Nazi Germany during the war. My grandfather confided in me how he just couldn’t imagine life without her, although his job often entailed they were separated for longer periods. But way before I started to realize how amazing she really was, she had my portrait painted, a portrait that she kept for decades above her favorite chair, surrounded by numerous memorabilia collected from (former Belgian colony) Congo.

Her death marked the end of an era. My grandfather’s health deteriorated, forcing him to move to a nursing facility, although each time I visit he still vividly recollects memories of my grandmother and stories that put a smile on my face.

Last year my brother felt he could use my grandparents large country house and its surrounding gardens, as his young children needed more space in a safer environment away from the big city. Well, so could I, but I could accept the emotional need of my parents to have their grandchildren within driving distance. My brother rents the property for only a symbolic payment, causing rather predictable family friction.

When I finally visited the house that had been the guardian of countless childhood memories, I was truly shocked. Not only the priceless antique pieces from Congo had already been replaced by more contemporary items, the entire house was being stripped and rebuild with little or no respect for my childhood memories. Every personal item had been removed, with frames and pictures casually tossed on a pile of building rubble. And that’s exactly where I found myself, two yo while holding on to my favorite bear: on a dusty pile of building rubble

Facebook: avoid at all costs

What have you done today, to make you feel proud?

When Belgian cable channel 2BE broadcasted the final scenes of the groundbreaking, gay US cult series Queer as folk last week (originally aired on Showtime USA, 2005), my s/o affectionately grabbed my hand when in the final scene, [main character] Brian [in his bombed gay dance club, victim of a violent anti-gay hate crime] started dancing to (YouTube video) Heather Small’s “Proud,” ["What have you done today to make you feel proud?"], a song that accompanied a pivotal scene between Brian and Michael in the very first episode of the series. It all ended with a semi-philosophical quote by Michael: “So the “thumpa thumpa” continues. It always will. No matter what happens. No matter who’s president. As our lady of Disco, the divine Miss Gloria Gaynor has always sung to us: We will survive.”

This American gay TV series was truly groundbreaking on many social levels. Although our dancing days may be over, to myself and my s/o this scene fundamentally conveyed the feeling that whatever the odds, no matter how many walls may have collapsed, we still strongly believe in ourselves, proud of who we fundamentally are. A most uplifting feeling on a rainy Belgian day. Are you proud too?

Amnesty International Antwerp 2008 concert

Currently still in progress (first shots): the yearly Amnesty International open-air concert in front of Antwerp cathedral, a ten hour (2pm-midnight) free event, aimed at raising funds and awareness about worldwide human rights. The Belgian rain along with a chilly 55°F/12°C wind did not succeed in chasing away the crowd. As individuals we’re powerless when human rights are trampled, but united we can make a difference. Check the website, select your country and help those who cannot help themselves. Are you taking action?

Antwerp webcam: climbing the MAS building site

Last weekend I enjoyed the once in a lifetime opportunity to climb to the (temporary) top of an Antwerp construction site in the old harbor area, as the MAS museum (Antwerp river museum) is slowly beginning to take shape. Antwerp city council has gone to great lengths turning the neverending “slowly does it” rebuilding of key parts of this city into a “building site of the century” PR experience.

The ‘experience’ continues to involve lots of spin (’climb/visit these unique building sites!’), along with an equal amount of sheer misery for all those forced to face a five year distressful mess in front of their homes and businesses. When I look at the speed at which construction proceeds in Chinese cities, I’m convinced many Antwerp building/renovation sites are somehow moving in slooow motion. Weird, isn’t it?

Check out the (far from ‘pretty’) Live MAS Antwerp webcam (24/24, high-speed), more photos (please click to enlarge) coming soon.

Sinatra does Antwerp

Although Frank Sinatra died way back in 1998, I had the distinct impression hearing his voice last Saturday, right in front of Antwerp cathedral. Yes, I finally got a lucky break after the Naked08 debacle and wound up on elevated, open air VIP seats (white leather lounge couches!), enjoying an exclusive preview of www.barblue.be, a classy blues/jazz/classical presentation accompanied by selected wines and gourmets snacks. When the local singer started a near-perfect rendition of Andy Williams’ “Moon river” during yesterday’s sultry evening weather and sunset, well, I just melted. Hardly anything beats the classics at moments like these. “You’re getting old”, my s/o said, and promptly fell asleep

Naked for charity: the 2008 sequel

“Naked08: Antwerp fashion for charity“ unexpectedly passed me by. That’s right folks: no real shots of all the tempting models that roamed the open-air catwalk in one of Antwerp’s most trendy streets this Saturday. How would you feel when at the much anticipated moment you press your shutter button, your camera beeps, displaying a “battery low” sign? I just felt stupid, not having checked if my second battery pack was actually loaded. Anyway, charging was no option, so I will have to leave you with these (cellphone camera) street shots of the ‘post naked 08′ experience. Several professional 3rd party shots of the event can be found on Flickr (though this set is quite repetitive and totally failed to capture the true street ambiance of this event). Better luck next time. [For the connoisseurs: photo of being ' Really naked in Antwerp']

Naked 08: Antwerp street goes naked for charity

“Naked fashion for charity“: count me in! Until you check out their website : while this Antwerp street
fashion experience sounds quite provocative, there’s noting “naked” about the whole event. Anyway,
‘Naked’ sure beats the Salvation Army. I image your charities behave in a more conservative way

Come back! I’ll post whatever you want me to say!

Blogging can be a weird experience: some days your counter goes into overdrive , the next morning nobody can recall your name. Obviously, it all depends on your audience and format.

You’re looking at my unique visitor count from the past two weeks: peaking at almost 1,400 on the day I posted about the Antwerp marathon/10 miles (yes, being fast with having pictures online during a major event always pulls a crowd), but I’m slightly puzzled why the familiar “nipple - prostitute” drive-by visitors decided to to forgo my former tabloid-style posts this morning. It’s still early in the USA, so my hit-rate will probably end up in the 700-800 range. Famous nipples appear to be a universal crowd puller.

Anyway, I’m not sure which direction this blog is heading. Lately I’ve been focusing on the news about Antwerp that hardly ever crosses the city limits, although I may be tempted again by ‘concept writing’ to pull a crow (one that I really don’t need), I may even choose to get profoundly personal (no way ) or I can just go with the flow and post whatever I feel like posting on a given day. I wonder, just how important are visitor stats to you as a blogger? Would you change your format if your visitor numbers crashed to the floor?

Antwerp: speed limit 18 mph, pop 500,000

In its infinite wisdom, Antwerp city council has decided that the entire downtown area between the river and the major central north-south traffic axis will soon be turned into a 30 kilometers per hour zone (that’s 18 miles per hour folks). Considering that (ignoring rush hour speeds) the average car drives at a regular 50 km/h (31 mph) in this area, it’s time for cashing in. The speed fine is set at 50 euro for exceeding the limit, plus an additional 10 euro for each km/h ‘too fast’, turning it all into an extremely pricey € 250 (US $ 400) “speeding ticket”.

Cars are the new ‘evil’ in this town, with speed cams every few meters/yards, intentionally induced gridlock by stripping lanes, countless speedbumps and most of all, a policy to make sure that local inhabitants drive around for hours when arriving home, in a desperate effort to find artificially scarce, ever decreasing numbers of parking spaces. Did you know that, as a pedestrian, Belgian laws give you a virtually unrestricted right of way, even if you throw yourself in front of a moving car? Do come over and check it out

The ING Antwerp 10 miles run: first pictures

For all those who love running but felt not quite up to a marathon, the ING Antwerp 10 miles proved to be a very popular alternative. Almost 20,000 runners passed two tunnels on their way from left-bank to right-bank and back, passing through the historic Antwerp downtown. In spite of the sudden rain, I hope you enjoy my first pictures (This one is for Di) [Full photo coverage by www.sport.be]

The Antwerp 2008 Marathon: first pictures

Right at this very moment (1.55pm UTC+2) the last runners are finishing the 2008 Antwerp marathon in front of city hall. Live media coverage was basically abysmal:in spite of a huge crowd, countless cameras, one helicopter and numerous newscrews, not one single TV channel bothered to cover the entire event live. With city hall being just around the corner, here are my first shots. The Antwerp Marathon was won by Elias Chebet from Kenya - the (photo and free personal video) results will appear next Tuesday (yawn..), global results are currently available in English at the results site (results in Dutch), with general info available at the official Marathon website. Enjoy my first shots [please click to enlarge]

The first five: ING Antwerp Marathon

Men:
1. Elias Chebet (Ken) 2h17′56″
2. Elias Chelanga (Ken) 2h18′54″
3. Rik Ceulemans (Bel) 2h19′20″
4. Eric Gerome (Bel) 2h20′02″
5. Stefan Van Den Broek (Bel) 2h20′42″

Women:
[Out of the 2,000 runners, most were men]
1. Anja Smolders (Bel) 2h43′17″

Chiquita bananas leave Antwerp, forever

In a move that stunned much of my riverbank neighborhood, nearby Chiquita bananas European HQ has decided to leave Antwerp, relocating to Switzerland. No, I’m not talking about a regular banana shipment or treatment depot, but the European headquarters, staffed with 100 executives who will get only two options: leave of move to Switzerland too. While the US company allegedly has a record of plantation workers’ rights violations, Antwerp has been a major EU banana transit port for ages, covering the entire European market. The reason for this sudden “shut down and run” relocation? High Belgian taxes and stringent EU regulations.

In spite of countless benefits, Chiquita Brands International in Cincinnati, Ohio, US were attracted by the fact that Switzerland (being a non -EU country) can bend over backwards while being untouchable when it comes to strict EU regulations. As for Belgium: while business are getting tax breaks that no longer even sound legal, personal income tax has long passed 50%, with VAT or sales tax reaching a staggering 21% on virtually everything you buy overhere (excluding selected food items, at 6% ).

Would you mind paying high taxes if your government provided elaborate social benefits bases on solidarity (like free high-quality health care and elaborate social protection) too?

Cycling: ‘Mr Sexy legs’ Tom Boonen does Antwerp

Yes folks, I just had the pleasure walking right into the 28 yo World Cycling Champion Tom Boonen (I had to crop this image to delete mayor Patrick Janssens, who was all over the place), while Antwerp enjoyed the start of the 96th Schelde (=the river passing Antwerp city) cycling race in front of city hall [Update: Tom lost the race]

Cycling is Belgium’s favorite sport, producing a steady stream of world champions. The atmosphere was great (some sunshine, 12°C/55°F), with a laid back start only broken by a minor ‘we want more pay’ protest by the Antwerp fire brigade. Boonen brought his girlfriend, but my god, I’d kill for those perfect sexy legs Tom (top right) convincingly showed he was a wholesome ‘all Belgian boy”, but some cyclists appeared to have some vanity issues. Enjoy my snapshots [do let me know if they "drop off your screen" - this is no liquid lay-out]

‘If I were a terrorist’, a video by James Pence

Some of his comments are way off, but in this video James Pence tries to redefine the word “terrorist”. Intriguing, isn’t it?

Full text: “If I was a terrorist and I wanted to destroy the American way of life, I wouldn’t use planes and bombs to kill folks. Hells bells! That is too risky. You might get caught or killed or both. Real terrorists get results, and then they lay the blame or can’t be found. So here is what I would do if I was a terrorist.

I would foreclose on millions of homes, you know, kick folks out of their houses. I would devalue the dollar so the price of everything would go up. I would outsource the jobs so they couldn’t find work. I would move the factories to foreign countries, you know, all the good fine factory jobs. I would make education unaffordable, you know, terrorists don’t like having educated people around. I would make healthcare difficult to get and let the insurance companies just get away with murder. I would listen to their telephone calls, monitor their E-mails, and use that information to really stick it to them. Then, I would give myself a big old tax cut, sit back in luxury, and watch them fight over the crumbs. But you know what? We live in the United States of America, thank you, Jesus, and the people that represent us would never ever let them get away with that. Would they? Would they?”

There’s a war ‘thing’ in front of your door

“There’s a war, well, ‘thing’, in front of your door”, my significant other exclaimed while breathing heavily through my cell-phone. “Maybe you mean ‘war ship’ and can’t find the precise carrier type” I said reassuringly. Right on. Anyway, while ships pass by all the time over here at the Antwerp riverbanks, it’s rare that an active war vessel allows civil walk up tourists - these NATO vessels are heavily armed and are in general not intended as a tourist attraction. The last L-type British military vessel even insisted on a huge security parameter, as the military can get ever so slightly paranoid about security in the Antwerp harbor (some of the US supplies to/from Irak pass through Antwerp, while Belgium has never acknowledged the legitimacy of the invasion of Irak).

Anyway, I wonder if I did ‘the right thing’: is it morally acceptable to behave like a tourist, taking pictures onboard this Belgian F-931, a small, guided missiles F-type war ship, presented as a great ‘tourist attraction’?

Thailand in Antwerp

Celebrating 160 years of bilateral friendship, Thailand built a complete Thai village in front of the Antwerp Hilton last weekend. Some of my non-selected images had a high “hey, that must be photoshopped” quality, but trust me, they are as authentic as they appear, including a real, fully operational Buddhist temple in front of Antwerp cathedral. I had to step on some toes to get close (my basic equipment didn’t quite cut it), but I’m pleased with the “Buddhist prayers in front of the cathedral” feeling. [Please click to enlarge]

Heritage day 2008 Antwerp

Today Flanders (Belgium) and Brussels celebrate National Heritage Day, a yearly event when churches, art collections, museums and even private homes open their doors to unveil their often locked away treasures. [Dutch-only program for Antwerp: www.erfgoedcelantwerpen.be]

Unfortunately, it’s raining in Antwerp and I didn’t manage to borrow my father’s digital SLR camera, so please check back for some regular shots as soon as I manage to face the rain.

The event ended at 6pm (UTC+2). Update: medieval treasures in the old city library (yes, I visited their vaults):

A Belgian customer service horror tale

“No”, said the male customer service phone operator with a campy, high-pitched voice with a contemptuous tone (hello, Mr Humphries, are you free?), “we sure won’t deliver or pick up *anything* broken weighing 27kg/60 lbs over a spiral staircase (escalating dismissive voice), “imagine, our staff could drop off that rickety stairs, and get hurt!”, totally ignoring that I might be living in a riverside penthouse, with my in-house staircase wide enough to handle twice his inflated ego. “But I’m physically challenged” I exclaimed as a desperate last resort, only to be confronted with what sounded like the ‘customer service operator’ clicking the ’start muzak’ button.

Living in the medieval downtown area of Antwerp with its cute and ever so romantic buildings may sound great to the casual tourist, but the reality of daily facing these in-house spiral staircases with no elevators to lift you to that great riverside view might quickly change your mind. Don’t click away yet: you’re virtually in the middle of a weird story about how a very mundane event (buying something) turned into a nightmarish experience, in a far away country where asking for ‘customer service’ is sometimes considered more offensive than engaging in open-air sex [anyway, don't try this while visiting Belgium ]

My beloved 1001 function microwave died recently, a rather inconvenient incident as I was expecting guests.

The online choice in replacement appliances was large, but like I mentioned, no shop in Antwerp appeared willing to pick-up and deliver here. To cut a long story short: I dragged my broken 27kg/60 lbs oven down these never-ending revolving stairs to my car with the help of my s/o. It crashed, the oven I mean, although my dearest s/o also saw parts of the stairs he never knew existed. After a bumpy ride to the nearest “Best Buy Antwerp” outlet, nobody answered the “pick up here for instant service” phone, with a microphone equipped security guard (speaking hardly two words of Dutch, but hey, I’m multi-lingual) addressing me like I was a criminal. Numerous calls and 30 mins later an employee (you know, one of those showing advanced signs of burn-out) put a huge box right in front of my feet - placing it in my car trunk just 2m/yards away was visibly too much of an effort - swiped my credit card and closed the door. No “have a nice day”, no “enjoy the new oven”. Nothing. Belgium and customer service, it’s no marriage made in heaven.

It took me 1 full hour, assisted by my s/o, to drag the oven over all the revolving stairs to my home. I was in pain and totally exhausted. I’ve never lifted this much weight after my physical injury. And I shouldn’t have, ever.

When I finally opened and checked the heavy box it dawned on me that this didn’t look like the cutting edge space-age oven I had ordered and paid for. It wasn’t: those nice people over at ****** had given me a much cheaper model, although the receipt mentioned the correct appliance. I took one deep breath, picked up the phone and called ‘customer support’. “You must have caused this issue”, the campy Mr Humphries operator exclaimed in his high pitched voice. “Just bring back the *unopened* (!) box, without any signs of use, right now”. I couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t. Aaargh! It’s a pity you can’t hurt someone through the phone.

Do share your customer service horror stories, it will make me feel better [image unrelated to the Antwerp horror mega-store]

Don’t marry in Belgium: divorce rate hits 71%

All Belgian newspapers report today that getting married in Belgium has become a very bad idea: out of every 100 marriages, a staggering 71 filed for divorce (2005 figures), topping the 27 country EU list and rather stunning compared to the much lower 43% European average. Is the relentless rain to blame? The highest taxes in Europe? The philandering behavior of Belgian males or females? Or just a not-yet-isolated compound in our tap-water?

Nobody knows, but along with an increased abortion rate (a shocking increase of 50% in just a couple of years) it appears many native Belgians no longer care for children or marriages. OK, time to drag my gay s/o to Antwerp city hall, get married and adopt a couple of children from Vietnam. It’s perfectly legal over here. Hey, someone has to save this weird country of mine

The Antwerp 2008 Marathon and 10 Miles: an overdose of fun

The best part of the yearly ING Antwerp Marathon and 10 miles must be the massive endorphin rush, creating feelings of visual exhilaration, and sometimes just a little bit more.

Quote:
‘Besides behaving as a pain reducer, endorphins are connected to euphoric feelings and the release of sex hormones’ - nicely explaining why all these people bother to run in the first place.

Last year I asked ‘can this lady please give me a call? I want that feeling too, but I’m unable to produce it while running’, but she never called. Maybe I’ll get lucky this year.

[Antwerp marathon 2008 edition: April 20. My first shots - Full photo coverage by www.sport.be]

[my photo: 2007 edition]

Can you still pay your bills?

Debt, it has become a household name during the past year. Although Europeans are known for their high personal savings ratio and Americans have been living on credit for decades, we’re all facing massive inflation rates these days.

With gas and food prices going through the roof, many of my friends are having a hard time balancing their household budget. In spite of the strong Euro, I’m paying € 1.40 a liter for gas (US $10 a gallon), with regular weekend shopping facing me with food items that have gone up by 30%. I’m not touching on the US sub-prime housing/ banking crisis that rocked the entire world, but I just wonder how you personally handle these complex financial times of ’stagflation’