The 2009 Antwerp Summer Break

Much like these tempting women (actually, they’re male) below, shot last weekend in front of the Antwerp riverbank “steen” castle (thanks guys, your free posing provided me with a much appreciated and popular online photo session), don’t we all need our summer break?

Well, I sure do. So while I’m off to work on my tan and muscles in a cheap cabin along the rainy Belgian coast on a secluded island resort in the South China Sea, rest assured that I will keep you posted 24/7 via WiFi whenever any worthwhile news breaks in sleepy Antwerp this summer. But please, do err on the side of caution and skip checking CNN first – I’m convinced you know who to trust when reliable coverage of Antwerp, Belgium is vital

Enjoy the summer of 2009, wherever you may be.

[Update June 6th: returned from the beaches in Zeeland, Holland, only a 1h drive from Antwerp, yet so different. Hottest day of the year (33°C/92°F) June 2nd, but we're back enjoying the chilly Belgian rain. Tempted to fly off to the Med.]

Antwerp, a gay city: instructions for visitors

As mentioned on antwerppride.com, Antwerp is “Europe’s gay harbour”, so as a native I feel the natural urge to provide some essential instructions for visitors. Obviously, being a straight visitor can be a confusing endeavour in this gay town, so just follow my steps and don’t get into trouble. [Note: all shots taken outside the Antwerp Navigaytion 2009 grounds - 2008 images and video]

Upon disembarking from your cruise-liner, you will notice a huge sign stating “Antwerp, gay”. It’s considered courteous to have your picture taken right in front of this gay entrance sign. So even if you’re Muslim, straight & just married, only walking your dog or strolling with your 3 yo child: please, follow the rules – this is a respected gay town and we adhere to a zero tolerance policy. [My photo: the entrance to the gay city of Antwerp, Belgium, right above the cruise terminal). OK, all clear, you're in and safe, for the time being.

Next: obligatory rules of engagement. When strolling along the riverbanks, you will notice a huge number of semi-naked muscle males and individuals of undetermined sex. Approach with caution, but please, keep smiling! Being gay, some of the Antwerp natives will try to touch you or show you "what they've got": no panic, just go with the flow and stay safe! [My photo: staying safe when engaging the gay Antwerp natives. Notice how even the elderly dress 'wild'. ]

Common mistakes: gender confusion or assuming the gay locals are trying to ’seduce’ you. Warning: the Antwerp locals (both male & just having a break, on my shot below) only care for themselves (memorize this word: “narcissism”) and their attempts to show off have no emotional connotation whatsoever. In their world, you’re only a throw-away toy. So behave like one and stay safe, capito?

Entertainment & appropriate behaviour is another confusing issue for visitors to the gay city of Antwerp. Yes, it is perfectly OK to board a vessel with 200 semi-naked men/women dancing, but please, dress appropriately! Also, in case you don’t comply with physical minimal conformity standards your stay in Gay Antwerp might become a very short one. My pictures below: left: appropriate dress and show-off attitude. Right: totally unacceptable “let’s look at the zoo animals” gazing behaviour from straight visitors – warning: you may be deported

Anyway, I hope your visit to gay Antwerp will be an enjoyable one (provided you follow our zero tolerance policy towards non-tolerance, obviously). Just in case you wanted to enjoy a non-gay romantic river view, or visit our  “steen” (”stone”) castle museum that used to house the national Belgian maritime museum: sorry folks, it’s been turned into a drag queen venue. But hey, don’t let that spoil the fun: visit the gay port of Antwerp, the most liberal gay town on the face of the planet (I’m sorry, this write up was posted under duress   )

The real Antwerp Pride 2009: first pre-navigaytion images

The real Antwerp Pride (unlike www.antwerppride.com): an integrated Antwerp local of African descent sells her great tasting BBQ food on a car-free street in downtown Antwerp, Belgium, just meters away from tomorrow’s departing point of numerous boats with some “proud” drunken dancing queens at Navigaytion (www.navigaytion.be ). 2008 Navigaytion party shots and video available here.

[Update June 27, 11 pm: I just returned from Navigaytion, having taken 300 shots from the elevated riverbanks. Blazing sunshine, friendly & wild, but much "straighter". I was overcome by a "I've seen this too many times" feeling: : people enjoying the culture of unadulterated narcissism in open air. The crowded was mixed (though +90% gay) with a yearly 'let's peek at this weird gay zoo" part where a large crowd of tourists and locals persistently gazed for hours at (and photographed) the Navigaytion crowd from the elevated riverside terraces. At times, it became funny, though slightly embarrassing. Anyway, Navigaytion 2009 turned out to be a predictable, virtually perfect carbon-copy of its 2008 edition. Yawn. "]

Antwerp gay pride & Navigaytion 2009: drunken queens on a boat

Quote from the ‘Antwerp Pride’ website:  www.antwerppride.com (check out event promo video 1, video 2)
“The city of Antwerp, clubs, cafés, fetish bars, erotic shops, bookshops, museums, LGBT organisations welcome you and your friends to Antwerp for the second edition of Antwerp Pride. Join ten thousands of visitors for an unforgettable pride weekend in Europe’s gay harbour, Antwerp. The combined forces of the large gay community and the support of the city of Antwerp will ensure another exciting edition.” Europe’s gay harbour? Someone must be joking. (But even the Russians in the Ukraine covered it]

OK, take two, now without the “we just love an influx of 30,000 cash-spending tourists, and we would bend over backwards to attract them, even if they came from Uranus” PR:  ‘Antwerp Pride 2009 is a yearly gay event that focuses on its highlight, Navigaytion 2009, a commercial “drunken queens showing off on ten riverboats” event surrounded by numerous huge parties, an open air fetish & leather-scene show and countless activities where gay emancipation has long been replaced by cashing-in on the influx of gay tourists.

If you care for my 2008 Navigaytion pictures and video, feel free to check them out.  Just added: some 2009 shots

[Update June 27, 10 pm: I just returned from Navigaytion, having taken 300 shots from the elevated riverbanks. Blazing sunshine, friendly & wild, be it with much less visitors. I was overcome by a "I've seen this too many times" feeling: people enjoying the culture of unadulterated narcissism in open air. The crowded was mixed (though +90% gay) with a yearly 'let's peek at this weird gay zoo" part where a large crowd of tourists and locals gazed at (and photographed) the Navigaytion crowd from the elevated riverside terraces. At times, it became funny, though slightly embarrassing. Anyway, Navigaytion 2009 turned out to be a predictable, perfect carbon-copy of its 2008 edition. "]</

No more Belgian chocolates

“You must be mistaken”, I just said to my endearingly emphatic MD over the phone, “are you sure the lab didn’t switch the Vacutainer tubes?”. Having just had a routine medical, my bloodwork showed  alarmingly elevated LDL-cholesterol,  the type of fat that blocks your arteries. Sure, I had gained much more than a couple of Kg/Lbs, but if you ever would have met me, rest assured: I’m not exactly the proud owner of a “supersize me” body.

Ten phone minutes later (yes, my doctor deserves a medal for patience and sheer dedication) I knew my days would now include a low-fat, low-calorie diet, no tasty Belgian beer, no succulent prime steaks and, probably even worse, no more (500g/one lbs of) delicious Belgian chocolates, a dietary inconvenience that will probably force me to make a detour to avoid the temptation presented by the numerous shops around Antwerp cathedral and city hall.

“OK”, I can hear you mutter, “stop whining, what’s the big deal, you spoilt brat?”. I do realize I may well be boring you, but I was getting ready to book an all-in, “book today, fly tomorrow” discounted last-minute vacation to the Med, one that obviously would have included lavish (as in “fat saturated”) buffets I would be unable to ignore or resist. Elaborate dining has always been one of the highlights of any vacation I ever booked. After a long, cold winter this vacation could have been the break I really needed.

Realizing that my only available travel partner is a notorious over-eater who “travels from the pool to the restaurant” (”no all-in buffets, no vacation deal”), I’m sulkingly sitting on my sunny Antwerp balcony, chewing on a celery stick,  still browsing the tempting Mediterranean “all inclusive” resorts.  With countless Europeans relinquishing their 2009 summer vacations due to the crashed economy, I had no idea “a silly bit of fat” had the potential to impact my holiday planning. But trust me, I’m still looking for a solution 

[June 20: Confession: sorry Doc, but I just devoured a Brussels waffle with lots of whipped cream. Still trying to convince my only available travel partner 'how great an active vacation without buffets would feel". He made a painful sound and grabbed something from my fridge. Probably the last celery sticks.]

Mommy, there’s a cruise liner in front of the window

No, Antwerp sure doesn’t resemble Miami, but on the odd warm sunny day one only needs a touch of imagination to get that true holiday feeling. [My cell-phone shot: an Azamara cruise liner, passing Antwerp left bank beach last Monday on its way back to the Atlantic].

An Azamara cruise liner passes Antwerp left bank beach - Monday June 1st 2009

Watching the Azamara peacefully slide by faced me with the simple fact that summer was back in town, a time of year I usually book solid with BBQs, countless visits to/from friends&family along with the traditional summer break near the Mediterranean. But somehow this year feels different: the “must do” part has at times resulted in a “I need a break from my vacation” feeling, caused by too many activities, too much planning, too much “must do” notes in my summer planner. So without regret I tossed my planner in a drawer, making sure that the summer of 2009 will be be a virgin white page, a page I daily fill as I go along.  Have a great summer, wherever you are.

Belgian beers: births and diseases at Google Squared

I love the innovation emerging at Google labs, but I cannot explain why Google Squared came up with this weird and somewhat amusing info about Belgian beers.  Quote: “Fetch and organize facts from across the web. Google Squared automatically constructs a table of facts”. Please note: I only entered the keywords as seen above.

Antwerp 2009 “Sinksenfoor” funfair opening night

Trust me, at the opening of the 2009 “Sinksenfoor” funfair I only had Belgian waffles. No 75m (230 ft) speed-rides for me.

Antwerp’s unofficial 2009 Summer Season Opening

Yes folks, it’s that time of year again: open-air pools, BBQs, the upcoming yearly one/two week vacation along the Med, long evening nights and obviously, somewhat less time spent in front of computer screens. But don’t run away now, I’ll make sure sure to keep on posting [disclaimer: intentional statement], even if the temps break the 100°F/37°C limit. To be totally honest, the chance of that happening is as remote as winning the Belgian state lottery in this rainy country by the sea

2008/2009 has been a pivotal year for both this blog and for myself.  Antwerp Calling dropped from 1,000 hits a day to a more modest 300 daily readers, predominantly caused by the massive success of social networking sites like Facebook and the multitude of Web 2.0 “I must be on it” applications like Twitter. Several of my once most loyal readers closed down their own blogs, one realizing a Pulitzer was beyond her reach, some just faded away or started financially more lucrative endeavours, with people I’ve never met in real life still leaving their much appreciated comments.  My personal life became a bumpy ride for a while, but at present I’m back in the driving seat.

Today showed the halmarks of an enjoyable Belgian summer’s day: 25°C/80°F on a leisurely Sunday spent at Antwerp’s left-bank beach and open-air pool. [My photo: an ice-cream stand on the historic Antwerp "plage" (French for "beach") at 4 pm]. I haven’t got a clue what the end of May felt like in your part of the world, but feel free to share.

Twitter: The Final Word

[Author: unknown.] Most Tweets bore me senseless, but this one made me smile.